With the timeless appearance of an Aztec blanket, the Slowtide Valen Towel is certified gram-ready, softer than a baby's bottom, and more absorbent than any bogus chamois that Billy Mays might try to sell you at 2 am. It's time to step up your towel game, so cop the Slowtide Valen Towel and break necks everytime you hit the beach.